Christmas in August?

Ahhhh to be a kid again……
DD and I spent our Sat evening playing like 9 year-olds on Christmas morning.
See, she’s big girl now and wanted her own cell phone plan. Didn’t want to have to “share” minutes with “The Mommie” and she didn’t want to have to put down a huge deposit for her own account. She just wanted a plan to herself but billed under my account. Fine by me – cuz with this new big girl plan also comes a bill – one that “Mommie” doesn’t have to pay for. I’m thinkin’ – I like this plan already.
So, I spend 40 minutes on the phone with our carrier discussing options, plans, phones, etc. trying to figure out the best rates, plans for our lifestyles. Nothing fancy I say, for we be simple people. Well, may be ought to add that unlimited text stuff to the DD’s plan. She’s kinda liken that but well hell, I type all day at the J-O-B and I don’t want to do it on a phone too. What’s that you say? You just don’t type onto the phone – you tap? Huh? Well, I learned myself how to type on them there keyboards and really, and I mean I really don’t have any wild hair going up my arse that makes me inclined to learn a new way to communicate with my chilluns. Used to be I didn’t even have to SAY anything – “the look” was all I needed. Apparently the look is outdated. This new-fangled way of communication will keep us closer than ever. Bonded you might say. Well, I’m all for expanding the parent/child relationship. Honest Injun. Quit laughing – I do like communicating with my kiddies. Except, of course, when they’re getting on my nerves or somethin’ like that.
So I tell them there sales people to give me a small “bundle” so that when DD forgets that I don’t have the unlimited plan ( and she WILL forget) I won’t be charged an outrageous amount of money for these here messages.
Later that evening DD “instructs” me (cuz remember I’m O-L-D) on the fine art of texting. I suck at it. Big Time. No sense in pussy-cattin’ around it. I wrote out this sentence and looked up to see nothing but gibberish. Did I mention that I suck at this? Big time? So, again, DD tries to help me out and of course in her drama diva way has to let me know that SHE learned this easily – and it’s not a big deal and geez, why can’t I get it? Cuz I’m O-L-D damn it! Just ask MYS! Remember now? Is it all comin back to ya now? So there we sit on the couch, DH is at a friend house where there’s a big party going on, live bands, plenty of beer for a hot summer night, and I’m sitting at home on the couch texting DD who is sitting right next to me. Yeah, it was ridiculous. She was right frickin’next to me. So I went out to the porch and sat. To text her. Sitting on the couch. Inside. In the air conditioning. I’m thinkin’ this too, was ridiculous, so I went inside. She went to her room. To text me. Sitting on the couch. Cuz, you see, by now I’m getting the hang of this tapping stuff and I’m thinkin’ I’m kind a likin it. Till 1 AM we played with these phones. Yeah, I know what you’re thinkin’. Party ANIMALS.
Sun morning I got up and remembered that the sales people told me how to check and see how many text messages I’ve used before I run out of my allotment. Yippee!!! A new way to use my new toy!!! So I looked and I’m thinkin’ no way! There is absolutely, positively, the cow jumped over the moon, NO WAY I used that many already. My phone only shows 31 messages! How did the h*ll did they come up with that number?
Well, ring, ring, hello? Customer Service? I just looked at my numbers you see and wow – someone has made a mistake. I mean come on, it only shows 31 msgs here. Can you explain this to me?
Did I count the ones that I had deleted you ask? Deleted? How do I do that? Oh, oh, oh, you mean when I cleared those ones? Uhhh, hmmmm…ok my bad. I just got this ya know and I’m trying to learn it and all and yeah, well, I din’t think of that and no, I’m not normally that air-headed. Guess maybe I jumped the gun a little here, that huge number kinda caught me off guard a little (ok a lot) and sorry to bother you. Have a good day. Anytime you say? That’s what you’re here for? Wow, thanks – cuz I’m thinking I might need to upgrade to unlimited.