My daughter’s senior pictures were taken on Sunday. This was quite the experience - for both of us. She had several outfit changes as well as locations and I left the details (hair/hand placement, lint removal, lighting) up to her and the photographer. I just watched (with only a comment here or there…well, ok, maybe more than a comment). While I stayed behind the scenes (as much as physically possible for me) I found myself wondering back to her first day of school.
It was something she had dreamed about for a long time. Years went by as she watched her brothers leave to go to the “big kids’ school” and now it was finally her turn. We shopped for the perfect first day outfit, bought enough supplies for her and a third world country (ran my sharpie pen dry marking everything with her name) and scrubbed behind her ears.
At that time, kindergarten was still only a half day long. DD (darling daughter) was in the afternoon class. She was dressed in her pink and white dress with white bobby socks, white patent leather shoes and her hair was pulled up into a pony tail with a pink ribbon. Cute as a button!
It was to be a miserably hot August day. The temperatures were to reach 110+. The schools in this small town were still not air conditioned. For the “safety” of the students, they canceled the afternoon kindergarten session. It was heart wrenching to see her ballooned excitement deflate. The alligator tears were almost more than I could bear.
Fast-forward 12 years. She stands in front of me, in cap and gown. Fighting back the alligator tears - only now they were coming from me! I had this mental slide show going on in my head: her first pulled tooth, little league softball, the cutting of her hair for Locks of Love, lying on the couch reading Harry Potter, her first crush, the death of her pet frog, earning the Silver Award, holding her drivers permit up like a trophy, Prom. I’m thinking “where the hell did the time go”? And how did it go so fast? Here is this beautiful, energetic, witty young woman standing before me, who, for the last 18 years has been in my life on a daily basis. What’s it going to be like when she moves on?
I’m thinking all of these deep thoughts with this slide show thing going on and in the background I hear “Mom – where’s my lip gloss? Mom, should I wear my hair up or down with this outfit? Mom, should I smile or be serious in this shot? Mom? Mom? MOM!?!”Ahhhh, yes. It’s gonna be quiet for sure!
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3 comments:
HT to you and all the family/ies, too.
Oh,Lovi, darlin' I done been there twice!
You're filled simultaneously with pride and gut-wrenching "this is happening way too fast, make it slow down!" emotions.
When I took my daughter to college, she sttod in the parking lot and waved as I drove away and I watched her in my rear-view mirror {I'm tearing up as I write this} until she turned and went inside. As I left the parking lot, I had the strangest feeling I had left something behind. AS I got on the highway, it hit me! I'd left my Baby Girl!!!
Except for vacation trips connected with friends, fam, or school for a week or less, she'd never been away from me. Now she was gonna be living with STRANGERS. People I didn't know. What if she got sick? What if she didn't eat right? What if she got hurt?
Oh yeah, it rocked my world!
But I'm still standin', and she's still standin' and she's a strong, independent, smart, beautiful, talented, young woman. I'm so pround of her. But it's still hard to let go. And I hug her real hard when she walks in my door.
You hit it on the head Holly! It does go way to fast. We were talkin about the youngest and how in 10 years he'll be gone too. Ten years? That's not much time at all!
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